Some thoughts after reading Kindred. .
The danger of slavery had Dana laying in the attic with Rufus… She could have been passively raped and she admitted as much but she chose to stab his ass. I think of how easy it would be to lie there and just let him have his way. About how this still goes on among men and women today. How many women still feel powerless over their bodies and how some men have no qualms about doing sex to a woman lying there passively due to fear (rape). In slavery consent didnt matter. Coming into 2018 it still doesn’t. It is debated and challenged and words like hoe, thot , slut etc used to further cement the idea that women do not own their own bodies. If youre seeking consent from a woman you’ve been wearing down, threatening, cajoling, convincing, a woman you know will love it; than you know you have already not been given consent. Any sex you have with a woman who is reluctant/not consented to is rape. No exceptions. You do have to hold someone down, physically them with your hands or a weapon to rape . There are patriarchal women who believe men who rape passive women commit rape. I am SICK to death of manipulation being given a pass. I’m sick to death of people joking about women being mad they were “finessed” into sex. No. They were raped. A woman that does not want sex and communicates that verbally or non verbally (pushing you away, not pushing back or engaging, not moving at all) is not consenting. I don’t care if she doesn’t physically fight her or scream for help. Some women freeze and wait for it to be over. You still didn’t get consent. Consent is enthusiastically and specifically given in the form of a verbal yes/initiation/engagement etc in the act. If a woman says no. Then accept that no and leave. Even if you think she’s playing or doesn’t mean it or is teasing you, it’s no.
This is not the 1800s where women had to go along to get along. It’s coming up on 2018 but y’all are STILL not obtaining true consent?!