A Boy Is Dead, His Racist Killer Free And White People Want You To Grieve Correctly & Give Them A Thumbs Up.

father and sonTrayvon Martin’s killer george zimmerman was found NOT GUILTY last night and the black community is lamenting…wailing it’s desolate loss, this is confirmation of our lack of humanity to this society. The black community is asking where justice is in this “post racial” nation. Black parents are wondering what they can possibly do to protect their black babies from attacks like these. The hopelessness in the face of this verdict is thick and pervasive and in the midst of it, there is such an outrageous anger, a feeling of VIOLENT DISGUST and it’s fall out. That fallout in which many white people have cheered and slapped this racist child murders back, invited him to talk on their shows and spewed such hatred about “niggers” and what we deserve, and baited us about how we do not REALLY care about black children that are murdered. They’ve suggested that black people die everyday, at their own hands and we dont care about that either. And in the face of that, a few of us grieving black people have said things like “i hate white people” , an HONEST and deeply hurtful feeling to express, a valid representation of the pain and the fear of being black in a white supremacist society. What happens? Suddenly all the white “allies” come out of the woodwork to tell these black people how “wrong” it is to hate them…….so the death of a black boy is about the white people who empathize?

Tell me….when was the last time black hatred for white people saved a black life? Why is it that black people cannot have ONE HOUR, ONE MISERABLE FUCKING HOUR to grieve the loss of Trayvon and the loss of his justice? Why couldnt this be about US, black people, for one day? Why do we have to watch our mouths so that white people dont get offended? Why do we have to acknowledge that white people are sad too? WHY DO WE HAVE TO PAT WHITE PEOPLE ON THE BACK FOR HAVING A CONSCIENCE when they cannot possibly comprehend what we have LOST throughout history and what this verdict means to our lives and our children’s lives NOW? I got so many “i am a white woman and i cried my eyes out over Zimmerman’s verdict” tweets and responses, that I was ready to flip my shit! WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU? Why is this about you? The fact that you can be sad about this one moment and send your child to the store in a hoody the next, without wondering if they’ll ever make it back, is a PRIVILEGE. One that I and other black people do not have. But you want us to stop our crying, you want us to stop being angry, you want us to sit quietly and listen to you regurgitate Martin Luther King quotes about darkness and light, you want us to APOLOGIZE for saying we hate you…..the nerve….the unmitigated GALL. You call yourself an ally but you are stuck on PRIVILEGE, the privilege you have to wake up with the complexion for the protection and never have to worry a day in your life about losing your child for their skin color. But you want to shut black people up because they hurt your feelings?

You want us to stop crying and pander to you, coddle you for saying you care, or even for genuinely caring. But this is not about you, this is not about you caring or you marching or you picketing, it is about the fact that the grieving response of a black person takes precedent over your FEELINGS about someone saying they hate you. A hate that has no oppressive power but apparently hurts your delicate sensibilities. You should ask yourself why you actively sought to address a black person, the night of this verdict, for saying they hate white people. Why addressing them was more necessary than acknowledging what said black person lost and giving them time to grieve. You should ask yourself why you decided to give that black person a talking to instead of one of the other white people calling Trayvon a nigger and laughing and baiting black people for being upset.

I’m not fucking here for it, there are some great white allies who have STFU and refused to take the “i hate white people” statements personally, because they know that this situation is not about them, they do not need to defend themselves, they do not need a pat on the back for rallying behind the black community. These white people have my ultimate respect and my love, too often do white allies DEMAND attention for being allies, demand whatever cause they take up with black people ultimately shine the light on them, these are the allies that can KEEP their “support”.

6 thoughts on “A Boy Is Dead, His Racist Killer Free And White People Want You To Grieve Correctly & Give Them A Thumbs Up.

  1. Whit says:

    It’s not about any of you either it’s just about him. You think it’s ok to say you hate someone over the color of their skin but its not for a white person to say they hate you because you’re black isn’t it? That would make me racist? You disgust me. Get over yourself. What happened to him was horrible and you need to realize it had NOTHING to do with you. Nobody feels sorry for you because nothing happened to you. People die because of murder everyday, white and black, and all ages. The media played it up and it’s idiots like you that fall into it and fill yourself with hate and are quite possibly the next person to shoot someone out of hatred.

    • FatFemPinUp says:

      Really? “its not about any of you either”, thank you for clearing that up for us! If this were just about Trayvon, then it wouldnt have been racially motivated. If this were JUST about Trayvon, Zimmerman would have NONE him, he would have killed him over a personal disagreement or hatred rather than RACISM. The point here? He was MURDERED because he was black, and because of that? It could have been ANY black person, any black teen that night and the result would have been the SAME. This is NOT true of white people. IT is about US because it is indicative of the DANGER black people face from stereotypes about our SKIN COLOR. NO ONE has asked any white people to feel sorry for us, in fact, the MOST that we are asking is to be treated like we have HUMAN DIGNITY, to be treated like HUMAN BEINGS. But that is a tall order for white supremacists. I disgust you? Of course you do, you’re tired of hearing about racism aren’t you? You’re tired of us lamenting the loss of our fallen brothers and sisters because of their skin color arent you? And you wont be happy until we shut up about race because the louder we are, the closer you come to losing some of that privilege you get for being WHITE. The media didnt play this case up, a grassroots movement of black people DEMANDED this indictment and when it FINALLY HAPPENED then the media ran with it. Dont misrepresent the facts. Fill ourselves with hates huh? We’re just making a big deal out of nothing…yeah. That is the white privilege talking, congratulations, you’ve proven yourself to be just like the “im glad that nigger is dead” types. I hope I never walk through YOUR neighborhood at night.

  2. AY says:

    Nic,
    I am not even sure where to go with this after reading this….
    I hear that you are hurting, and as a person that loves you PLEASE DO NOT assume that I dont feel your pain becuase of the fact that I am White. HATE IS HATE and it is known to ALL Mankind! We as a society have to step up and take a more Positive approach to letting people know how WE feel. Everyone has the right to have feelings/ raw emotion about this. He was HUMAN, a son, a brother and a friend to many. I will give you the “hour” that you are referring to but I will be damned if you dont feel that I as a white person do not have the ability to feel the pain for the Martin family. That is like me saying to you, You cant possibly understand what the Martin family is going through because they are black and you are only “half black”. Or that you have no right to have the emotions that you are having about this tragic loss and and verdict simply because you were raised by a White Mother. It makes me sad, I feel as though what you are saying is that you are denying White People the opportunity to grieve or a least have any emotion at all.
    The hate and the “supremecy* that you are referring to is an exact relfection as to what you are saying about White people. WE- are NOT ALL ALIKE, you know darn well there are Many Many different levels of hate,racism and Judgement!
    It is hard to turn a blind eye and not be an “ALLY’ for a community of People that deserve respect and support. I think it is important for the Martin family to know that they have support, people are grieving, outraged and saddened by this.. Not just by the African American population but ALL PEOPLE. We are AMERICANS!
    I am NOT saying this at all to get anyone elses Attention But Yours, I know that you are hurting and it is important to ME that I tell you that I love you.
    P.S. We are ALL pink on the inside ~ Believe me… I have done my research. :)
    Love your Lesbian Lover

    • FatFemPinUp says:

      The point isnt that you dont empathize because of the color of your skin, the point is that, regardless of how you feel you can never UNDERSTAND. What is in jeopardy for black people after this verdict is not in jeopardy for you so this post addresses the fact that many white people have taken this opportunity to tell black people how to talk, how to express their grief and what is appropriate and personally? I am not here for that. There is a time and a place where moralization is necessary but an hour after the verdict “not guilty” which essentially suggests that black life has no value in this country is NOT the time. Especially coming from the same people who, in the same shoes, would have seen justice because of their PRIVILEGE. You’re assuming that I AM making this about race, I am not, it is ALREADY about race and black people need a SAFE space to grieve ANY WAY THEY SO DESIRE. If that means “i hate white people” than that is what it means. “I hate white people” is a STATEMENT, real hate is an ACTION, real hate murders a black boy in the dark because of stereotypes and puffed up sense of masculinity. When a white person hears “i hate white people” from a black person, they may be offended, they’re allowed to be upset but interjecting themselves into the grieving to be “heard” when they are not a group in America who is threatened with silence is inappropriate at LEAST and selfishness based in white privilege AT BEST. My experience as a bi-racial woman are unique, because I have certain privileges because of my lighter skin, but I am STILL a black woman, and my life is still considered to be less important than that of a white person, my children will have brown skin, I have brown skin and that fact puts me and any children I have in danger. The same does not hold true for you. The HATE and the SUPREMACY are structural, STRUCTURAL. IT is in our social, political, economical and educational systems, it is pervasive, it is NOT color blind, it is not about being an “american”. IN the eyes of teh law, even YOU are not an “american” why? because you dont have all the rights “americans” have, i.e. spousal rights etc. because of your sexual orientation. This is the only way i can help you understand, if a gay person were murdered, for beign gay (which happens) and his killer went on trial…but during that trial the gay man himself was put on trial and his killer acquitted, would that make the country safer for gay men or more dangerous? IF this gay man were smeared for his GAYNESS, would that make you feel like you belong? If faggot and queer etc were being dropped in reference to him, if people were taking pictures of themselves pretending to be said dead gay man as a joke, if the media painted him as a promiscuous sinner or WHATEVER, would you say that ME, Nicci, could understand the FEAR involved in living in a society that thinks his murder is “ok”? NOw imagine this country had 300yrs of murdering, enslaving and denying the rights of gays (to some extent they do). YOu cannot understand that this is not about “Americans” it is about BLACK PEOPLE, and any feeling that a black person has about this murder is a valid one. Period. Just like any feeling a gay person had about the hypothetical murder of a fellow gay person would be valid. It’s not about “is saying you hate someone moral” it is about is saying you hate someone understandable and the answer is YES. And that feeling doesnt need to be policed because it didnt get anyone killed.

  3. Tempest says:

    I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your blog, and that it gives me strength and courage to speak out and be a young black feminist. Often times, I find myself saying nothing, not willing to get into an argument for seeming illogical or aggressive- but now, I realize that I’ve been holding back too often, not speaking up- you give me the courage to see this. And as for Treyvon, I understand that no one will understand why so many in the black community are outraged, and I will be lighting a white candle for him and praying.

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