It Is Not Acceptable To Wish Rape/Death/Violence On People to Protect Victims Of Rape/Death/Violence

URG!

Since when is it ok to decide you are an advocate for victims, then turn around and use that same platform of advocacy to threaten or wish harm on someone with what you are fighting against. Several women on Twitter, after the grammy’s began to tweet about Chris Brown, they said some rather outlandish and ignorant things…most of which were along the lines of “I’d let Chris Brown beat me” ….yes…it is disturbing to hear women joke about domestic violence, it is disturbing to see how casual and callous people are towards the victims of domestic violence…so much so that they could joke about it. I was disturbed to see that people thought because Chris Brown is talented and handsome, what he did was acceptable…..acceptable to the point that it is ok to joke about wishing he would do it to you. That is disturbing, ignorant and misguided…..but do these women deserve to be threatened with violence, murder or rape? No. It is NOT acceptable to threaten or wish rape/death/violence on someone in the name of protecting another from those exact horrors! First off, it’s hypocrisy, will you become the devil in order to stay the devil’s hand? It makes no sense! Becoming who you’re fighting in order to fight them is LUNACY. But beyond that….becoming the devil to fight people who have never actually done anything physical to who you’re protecting is stupid. YES!! Call them out on what they are saying, correct them, inform them, call them assholes or idiots but do not threaten or wish death/rape/dmv on to them!

If we are fighting for the victims then we do not have to wish the horrors our victims have faced onto people who are callous about their victim hood. In the example above, these women were not the ones who smashed Rihanna’s face. They were callous about referencing it in a tasteless joking manner. It would be more accurate if you wished domestic violence on Chris Brown because HE IS THE GUILTY ONE or …was (I think people can truly reform or be rehabilitated) but wishing it on miscellaneous people who joke in favor of Chris Brown’s behavior out of ignorance? NO. Not Ok.

This Chris Brown thing is just an EXAMPLE, I have no desire to discuss Chris Brown. I used him as an example but my major point is that we do not wish/threaten people who say stupid or ignorant or callous things about victims or in favor of perpetrators. They are not guilty of the crime, they are guilty of ignorance and they do not deserve to be raped or beaten for their words. If you MUST, wish/threaten the person who ACTUALLY DID THE CRIME with those things. An eye for an eye type deal, but people who aren’t even involved who just come in after to talk shit shouldn’t be silenced w/ these kinds of hateful threats. They should be educated.

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8 thoughts on “It Is Not Acceptable To Wish Rape/Death/Violence On People to Protect Victims Of Rape/Death/Violence

  1. As a rape survivor, I find our cultural collective glee at the thought of prison rape absolutely horrifying. Yet people seem to think I’ll like this “revenge fantasy”. Even as a child sex abuse survivor, people would tell me how horribly he’d be mistreated in jail, like that was supposed to make me feel better. Instead it just made me feel responsible, like I was part of the same abusive system.

    1. and it’s just unbelievable, to be a child and have someone comfort you by saying “because of what he did to you he’ll be raped in prison” …having been a victim yourself! What is wrong with people! I am truly disturbed to hear that people would like to see those who commit these atrocities have the same done onto them…. and would communicate that revenge theme to a child! children automatically take the blame for everything negative that goes on around them 😦 …………..but admittedly its worse for someone to wish those atrocities on people who are only guilty of saying something unspeakable, not DOING something unspeakable! There is a lot of ignorance out there…people who write to serial killers and get off on their stories, people who defend child molesters, people who envy men that beat their significant others to control them but dont do it themselves….they are ignorant and crazy but do they really deserve for harm to come to them as if they were the molester or rapist or murder or assaulter? I say no. They need to shut up, they need to be put in their place but ultimately smh we dont wish horror like that on people.

  2. I will be honest with you….if someone did that to my child it wouldn’t be surprising that it would cross my mind about something like that would happen to that person. Im human. Thank God that didn’t happen. Even at my worst, during a bad period of being abused physically, mentally etc.. I have never once wished ill will on him. I felt sorry for him. I know sounds stupid. I pitty him mostly. I have forgiven completely. Not sure why it affects me still. Sometimes things I hear or see trigger it. But the dumb young girls who say that stuff even in a joking way, just need to learn. And they will with age. I was watching Bravo Tv the show Bethenny Frankel. During a scene with her friend and her baby boy, (Bethenny has a baby girl), the little boy was hitting her on the head and Bethenny said “No, Domestic Violence is something that happens later in life. ha ha”.. That bugged the shit out of me. Im surprised no one commented on that. I dont know. I hate that everyone is talking about OUR health, OUR birthcontrol, OUR right to choose, OUR bodies.. and they are all men doing the talking. I know totally off the subject. But it all goes together it seems. Just leave us the fuck alone. *deep breath* … Thanks again Nicci for letting me vent. Dont know what I would do without ya. Seriously. Where else can I go and speak my mind like this without being judged. Love you lots. But all in all, we just need to keep being who we are and standing up for what we believe to be right. Xo always.
    Jana

    1. I know exactly what you mean but I should tell you sis that this specific example in question says dont wish these horrors on people who simply SAY HORRIBLE shit…not the ones who DO IT. To be a victim of rape or physical abuse…naturally your first thought is to wish that the person who hurt you would know your pain….but would you wish that pain to someone who was simply callous towards you about what happened? as I put in my post, the girls that were callous about domestic violence on twitter had nothing to do with the actual incident yet people were so quick to attack them and wish them harm and I just thought these women aren’t domestic violence abusers, they are loud mouths who are ignorant and dont know what they are saying. But yes, I know what it feels like to wish your attacker the same pain you experienced….I can’t say that after I was raped I wished my attacker were raped….all I wanted was to get him out of my MIND forever…to stay far away from him and create a world all my own where he didnt exist. But I wont tell you that you are wrong for wishing your attacker knows the pain that you felt because you aren’t….I dont think I was very clear in my post, I would only say your wrong if you wished what you had felt on someone who didnt commit that crime against you. And yes, you can always have your say without my judgement or me trying to silence you! Also you’re right, sometimes we get swept up in the celebrity drama of things and we miss the obvious and constant display of misogyny and rape culture all over that needs to be addressed!

      1. Yes, I now know what you were saying. Of course wouldn’t wish it on anyone who DIDNOT do the crime. I think when I was reading your post, I probably went straight for the throat and missed what it was you were saying. LOL. Thats me though. I always react before I get the facts. Something I guess I should work on. My head gets wrapped up in everything at once. Ha. 🙂 As always thanks for listening. enjoy weekend.

      2. lol naw dont work on it! you always communicate with respect so even when you get ahead of yourself you are respectful and clear. I dont see it as a problem 🙂 just a good part about being passionate!

  3. I’ve wished rape upon my enemies. Does that make me a bad person? Or, even, deserving of my own abuse?

    1. no and my blog post doesnt say you would be considered a bad person or deserving of your own abuse, its simply a suggestion to advocates and compassionate people to remember that when they are fighting against some of the worst things that mankind does, wishing those same things on people would only be counterproductive to their cause. We need to take the high moral ground when we decide to stand in the gap for victims

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