SisterGod – A Poem

***I wrote this for fellow survivors of sexual assault & domestic violence***

Bled all over his shoes and he washed me off of him
….Slight eye to eye and then his back
Sculpted and tattooed……turning away
While I
Broke into myself
Implosion
I tucked my fingers into my palms
My fist under my arms
As the wind whipped curls across my face
It wasn’t raining but I was soaking
Humiliation and pain
Put a bend in my back
I collapsed into darkness
But I could…..I would move
Eventual ….forward & limping
The season changed
One month and then six
Still limping
Emotional gimp
A child
Terrified of myself, infested with insecurity
Perpetual self destruction
And then….All I could feel was her hand
Her hand was a whisper on my shoulder
Grew heavy with the weight of her care
And she sent another soft hand
And another
Around me, mothers
Sisters
Daughters
Sharing my distress
Was agony that brought kindred to cradle me
In this feminine circle…
My fury turned strength and I died to the pain
Slinking out of my unfortunate
Naked to the future
Finding layers of clean, comfort to cover me
Although I’d never forgotten his name
Or what he did to me
It became a lecture, an oath to my future selves and their children
They became that strength born of suffering, promised by the wise
Her hands have become mine as I settle them firmly to the bend in your back
To you, who know that dark violation
To you who need guidance to the day

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