My Cry To Black Men- You Treat Us Worse Than Massa Did

I watched a video the other day of a black woman walking in a club dress past a group of black men….they yelled after her, one pulled her dress up and another knocked her down while other black men filmed it and laughed and said “damn thats fucked up” no one helped her up, no one offered her assistance. It was an obvious brotherhood and this black girl was nothing but entertainment, she found no community with these black men. A blck women that could have been a mother, a sister, a daughter was treated like an animal. And this is not exclusive to the video I saw, it is common place, it is a wide spread attitude that a large amount of black men have towards black women……….Black men, look what you are doing to your sisters. Saying “thats fucked up” when another man grabs our asses, throws a bottle at our head for not giving them our number, who rips our clothing when we go out dancing because we wont dance with them, you black men who hurt us , who KILL US for not giving you our attention, you are worse than white slave owners. And those who refuse to stand up to the men who hurt us in public are nothing but turncoats. You black men who stand by with a running commentary while your sisters are being harassed verbally and physically by other black men make me sick to my stomach. If you can’t hold your sisters, your daughters and your mothers with respect then how can you ever hope to respect yourself? And why don’t black men hold each other accountable for the way they treat black women?! Do you really not care? Black men used to fight a dude for disrespecting his mother, his girl….they dont anymore, they dont defend black women they only use and exploit them for sex and entertainment. What happened toa sense of community? You treat us like animals, and sexual holes for you to put yur dicks in (much like white slave masters). you take control of clubs and bars and any public place where black people congregate so that we cannot go outside and enjoy the community without feeling like your property, property you are free to touch, talk to any kind of way, strike, rape or even kill us without a peep out of your peers. Blck women have been MURDERED for rejecting a man who hit on them on the street………It has happens yet you continue to disrespect us, to hate us, to use us. Our blood, our dignity, our self respect is crying out for you, your own self respect relies on you to stop treating us like animals…..stop BEING ANIMALS when it comes to the women who birth you, raise you and take care of your children

Black men get harassed by the police on the street. And turn around and harass black women. Just because you are oppressed by white institutions does not mean you have permission to turn your anger and need for power onto women! Where is the love for us?!!!  you treat us like white men did on the plantation, you have internalized ideas white men used to rape us, use us as beasts to control us, you are using us for your sexual enjoyment and entertainment and throwing us and your children to the wolves. Yu deny disrespectful and dangerous harassment and you call yourself men……YOu act like everything is peachy keen but black women are DYING, and some of them are so beaten down that they are helpless….but that doesnt stop you from taking advantage of that helplessness

This isnt all black men, of course not and it could be a few even but those few who are hurting blck women, raping them, ripping their clothes in public, those 50 yr old men who yell at 12 yr olds on their way to the corner store that “you dont know what i would do to you if you were a couple years older” those black men that throw things and hit women who reject them IN PUBLIC at bus stops and malls…..those who do it at home when no one is there to hear their gf/wives scream…..it is hard to distinguish between black men that would never do that and black men that do because you all consider yourselves brothers….the “good” ones are too busy screaming WE AREN’T ALL LIKE THAT and doing nothing to stop the ones who are………….you all go to bat for each other, and we are no longer your sisters, we are your slaves. If I sound angry it is because I AM. Black people have been struggling for freedom since we were sold by our ancestors in Africa to white men……and the struggle for black women has been 2 times as worse, and then our own men turn around and treat us like whores, like animals, like objects, our own men degrade and use us smfh

*disclaimer* I love black men….i will probably marry a black man but I refuse to stand by and NOT call the majority of them out on their behavior towards other women of color, I am a black woman why can’t i call black men out without being considered a misandrist? I love men and that is why I sound so harsh, if the ones you are treating like cattle do NOT hold you accountable, and your fellow man are too busy doing what your doing will not hold you accountable then WHO WILL?!! So before you write me off as mean, self hating, consider this blog as a call for CORRECTION, only fools will not call their own actions into question when confronted

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25 thoughts on “My Cry To Black Men- You Treat Us Worse Than Massa Did

  1. I agree, Ive been categorized as ‘black’, and i had to get a restraining order against a black man for stalking me because i wouldnt entrtain his harassment–he was a total stranger but the order was granted based on facts. Im not attracted to black men and they disgust me. Thry’ll curse you out, talk about you becausr you reject them and on other occassions threaten your physical safety. Im an educated professional, I dress modestly (head covered, covered from head to toe), Im not a christian–. I wish the foul mouth wearing a cross around their necks blasting rap music, disrespectful, ammoral, uneducated, ignorant, deceitful, think theyre slick talking Black men leave black women alone. Almost vceryday I feel like Im on an episode of what would you do, with no one defending us. I say report them all for assault-they only respect a judge’s gavel. White men stand up for me not black–tho some whites are shady; Ive never witnessed consistent aninalistic, tongue wagging, oogling except black men–savages. May God destroy all of you who are guilty.

    1. I am sorry that you had to go to such lengths just to keep a man from stalking you, a white man has never stood up for me……..white men turn their heads away in the face of black on black street harassment, they turn their heads away or they join in….I have to admit that I believe the behavior of this type of black man is learned from white slave masters of the south….this is how they treated black women, and now we have black men who have the mindset of slave owners….they treat women of color like property, EVERY woman of color like property as white men in the south , they have internalized the idea that any woman of color is property and can be treated as such, in public, on the street , in their homes anywhere there is black women, they are subject to this treatment. AI also believe that if it were not for white guilt the cases of street harassment against black women by white men would be equal to white men. I think it is time to hold black men accountable for their lack of community …time to hold the accountable for not holding their women with esteem and respect. Just because you are oppressed (black men) does not give you the right to turn around and oppress women who are even more oppressed then you! This is not all black men…..I have known some black men to stand up for women , to go to bat for them and risk everything from their image, reputation, to their lives but there are not enough of them to keep us safe, and sadly too many women of color are giving into the lie of inferiority and allowing this behavior by not reporting and speaking out against these guys. ….having said that both white and black men are bad….black men treat us horribly via social abuse and white men treat us horribly by exploiting us through institutions …………how can we ever overcome this if we don’t FIGHT

      1. Well, I cover due to religious beliefs though I still get harrassed. I see through men who try to use religion as a pick up line too; especially ignorant, uneducated ones who lie and make up things because they’re dumb. When you ignore them their true hateful, resentful selves emerge. How do you sexually harass someone in hijab and long dress? Men of eastern descent and white men defend me more than black men of any religion they claim. People from the civil rights movement are rolling over in their grave seeing how black men treat women of color. I hope they kill each other off so we can have some peace.

      2. i wouldnt choose such a fatalistic approach….I think the biggest thing to keep in mind is that the behavior of black men towards black women is learned (not to say they aren’t responsible for their behavior because they definitely are). All behavior is LEARNED and this behavior in particular is a response to black oppression as a whole. I think I mentioned in my post that I believed it was apart of horizontal hostility which says that one group of people are oppressed and then they oppress the people inferior or equal to them as a way of dealing with it, I think we are seeing the effects of this in our society. We cannot deny the humanity of our black men just because they are denying the humanity in us, but we also don’t have to entertain it! While black women are crying out for humanity and freedom, black men are crying out for the same and they won’t slow down long enough to see how their own actions are playing a key role in the oppression of our culture as a WHOLE. This behavior doesnt just hurt black women, it hurts black PEOPLE and you cannot have black women with no black men, or black men with no black women, it is an issue that we as a community and a culture need to keep before our faces until it is resolved. The blame lies predominately on men in this issue and in my anger I have the tendency to want to get extremely aggressive with these men, I definitely cant take the pity approach because they are willfully ignorant about the state of women ….but what can we do? We can address this behavior whenever we see it and it is SAFE to do so, and we can stand up for ourselves and our sisters, we can talk to our partners, our sons, our fathers, its got to start somewhere and as ANGRY as it makes me, I still love black men and I still have hope that they can stop this horrific treatment of us and hold us to a higher standard then men have ever held women before

        I completely agree with you as far as religion is concerned black men who take up religion definitely abuse it, I’ve had a man tell me that I’d better have sex with him because the bible said I should submit………..FOOLISHNESS. Religion has strictly defined for women and men their roles and men express their frustrations with their own restrictions by oppressing women in their religion. Its all about power, a man isnt a man unless he has power, this is a universal idea that goes with every religion under the sun, and unfortunately women are continuously getting the short end of the stick

    1. thank you for taking the time to read!!!………I’m glad that the people reading this have gotten the idea that its not an attack but a call to correction, I hope this will reach some black men….and cause them to think twice about their actions or lack thereof

      1. Sure will I’ll being putting it on my FB page and groups… Everything ur saying is nothing but the truth, reality and it sure as hell need correction… Even our children are being abused killed at tender age mostly young girls… Sadden my heart… Happy I found ur message.

  2. I really enjoy your blogs and your posts but I take issue with the whole, “black men learned this directly from White Slave owners”. I think that is a totally unqualified statement. Men, white, black, Asian, middle Eastern, all over the world have a long history of treating women like animals. If we look to Africa today we see epidemic mass rapes, enslavement of women, female genital mutilation.. in short a long legacy of female enslavement by African males without the whole “White Masters taught them” theory. We see the same in India, mass abortions in Asia, sex slaves all over the world. Trust me, this shit did not originate by white slave owners, Black men didnt start off lovlingly attending to their Black wives and see some white asshole raping a Black woman and think, “hey thats a good idea.”

    This is an issue as old as time and pervasive in almost all societies (excepting the ones that were matrilineal/matrilocal in scope as were many Indiginous American societies). To put this also on the lap of white slave owners is false and the false dichotomy you place here only inflames racial history and issues when the real issue is how uneducated brutal men treat women. Studies show that most abusers learn it from their parents and repeat it. Let us lay blame squarely on the laps of the abusers and nowhere else.

    1. I agree that it is old as time but I do stick to the idea that black men in America have internalized notions of ownership from the days of slavery. There is a certain pattern of behavior that is unlike regular misogyny and it is strikingly similar to the relationship between slaves and their owners. There is a special brand of dehumanization that comes from slavery , it is linked to horizontal hostility but it is cultural. I do not blame this behavior on white people, I am simply saying that it is learned from white people. thank you for sharing your opinion!

      1. My understanding was that a lot of the violence against women that happens in African nations is very related to white colonization and neo-colonial processes. I am not saying there were no misogynist cultures in Africa before colonization, but it seems like colonization made it much worse and different for a lot of cultures…for example, privatizing land that used to be communal, but privatizing it to men only. I mean, many cultures might be practicing son preference, early marriage and FGM without colonial influence, but if structural adjustment programs hadn’t wrecked Africa’s economies and environment these things would not necessarily be fatal in such catastrophic numbers. Plus, pressing Western values on cultures often triggers very conservative reactions that often make things much, much worse for women.

      2. wow thank you so much for your very well informed opinion! I’ve actually been doing some reading about colonization and I have to say I completely agree with you. Who’s to say what the state of women were like before colonization and the transportation of Africans to the west but you cannot say it had NO impact on their treatment of their women, and I dont believe it is coincidence to see the rather barbaric treatment of slave women being duplicated by men that come from a history of slavery. Western values have always held women as inferior to men, some tribes in Africa were headed by women, these roles are in direct conflict (just an example) ……that’s one possible source for the dehumanizing treatment of women of color at the hands of men of color. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen in other races, cultures, ethnicity but it seems especially brutal in the black community. Also the highest status in society is to be a white male….and white males have a history of exploiting black women, to some extent its hard not to believe that this is at least in part a learned behavior with historical beginnings

      3. Definitely, like you pointed out there is a special brand of misogyny that is a product of white supremacy and it is pretty much impossible to separate colonization from the dehumanization of women. Personally I have only been seriously harassed by white men, and I have wondered before if that’s because men are most likely to attack the group of women that they are most familiar with…but then again, white men commit so much violence against women of color and have been doing so for hundreds of years. They do have the highest status, and even now that enables them to harass, abuse and even kill women, especially women of color. A few years ago I read this speech written by Huey P. Newton in 1970, calling out his comrades in the black power movement and other radical movements for mistreating women and queer people…I thought his words were amazing, but also depressing because 40 years later even ‘progressive’ communities still have not achieved equality:

        http://www.historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/newtonq.html

      4. I most definitely loved that speech! and how rare it is for a man in that time to speak on women and homosexuality! omgoodness! and your right it really hurts to realize that a message so old has still not been learned! I seriously thank you for your feedback and continued discourse about this topic, its hard to get people to acknowledge misogyny across racial , gender and sexual orientation

  3. Thanks for a very articulate observance. I agree with you.
    I’m not black but here in Minnesota I have nothing but trouble with “some” black men. I am 53 years old indian/german and I have had men attack me at bus stops because I wouldn’t answer them. I have had neighbors who wouldn’t leave me alone and silly me I started out trying to be “friendly” by saying “hi” which really was me saying I was available for sex, I guess. I just hate prejudice but I also hate being preyed upon when they know that I am not protected by this society. So..I tried everything, dressing like a guy, not wearing makeup, short short hair. Finally I gained 70 lbs and now they do leave me alone, in fact, they look right through me!
    Can you imagine the freedom a woman experiences when she suddenly becomes invisible to a predatorial group?
    I’m hoping now that I really am getting older, I can lose the weight and just be me.
    I have really been searching for a means to deter this sort of behavior. I thought that maybe if I dressed up in a business suit? In a more professional manner, because maybe dressing like a guy just makes me look hyper marginal,which only excites the coward.
    I just want to live in peace.

    All my blah blah aside I completely echo your complaint. Like you I have met some excellent black men who had great integrity and honor but on a daily basis I meet the “other”.

    1. First off ,let me say thank you for you comment! And thank you for sharing you story with me. I’d like to say that as a nonwhite person you are subject to this treatment whether you identify as black or not! Women of color, or non-white women are NOT considered apart of the society, black women, Hispanic women, Russian, German, anyone with an accent or someone who is obviously not an anglo saxon is (as you said) not protected by our society. Our society favors men, and every subculture favors its men. Men of color (black men, Hispanic, etc.) dominate their subcultures under patriarchy. The issue, I believe is that men of color are oppressed in our greater society and they take out that frustration on women (and lgbt’s) because they see both of those groups as inferior, they NEED someone to deem inferior because according to white America, they are inferior.. There is a sociological term to define this called horizontal hostility and it basically says that one oppressed group attacks another on the same socioeconomic level or lower. I want you to realize that changing the way you dress, losing or gaining weight is not going to make someone stop harrassing you :(……….I am 350 pounds! and I get harrassed every day when i go for walks if it isnt some man screaming about me being huge then its some man screaming about wanting to “fuck” me. As a woman you are always going to be subject to patriarchy in public & in your every day life, the best thing you can do is point it out and speak up for yourself when you can, safely. You should be able to live in peace without being afraid of drawing negative attention, you should be able to be in public without being afraid!!!! Ultimately , dress how you wish, maintain the weight that you desire, and be ready with an answer to anyone who tries to disrespect or dehumanize you. In order to get respect as a woman you have to TAKE it, we cannot put our heads down, we cannot be silent, because this is not effective. , no woman is exempt from street harassment, displays of male entitlement and patriarchy, its more about how you address it that makes it …..livable, or not livable. Again thank you for you comment!

    2. Kind of interesting your note about weight gain. Unless it’s a regional thing, black American men are known for liking big or plus size women. Also if you are regular to thin sized they still bother you if you have some sort of curves.

      1. Thank you for your comment 🙂 its not a question of whether they like big or plus sized women, its a question of how they treat those women according to societal and cultural norms. There are alot of stigmas about fat women that men use in order to devalue fat women and use them sexually rather then attempt relationships or even meaningful friends w/ benefit relationships. The problem isnt that they dont like us but that they dont respect or treat us like subjective human beings, even more so than the regular amount of objectification across every type of female because of fat stigmas

  4. Hi,

    I would like to comment on the posts that were posted and share also a few of my viewpoints towards the issues on black men and their general attitude towards the black Woman. Alot of the posts that were spoke upon bring very important views and opinions on the general character of black men. It is a built in westernalized belief system which was pretty much displayed long long time ago through out the slave era period. Alot of this brainwashing came from westernized ideals and beliefs which assumed and stated that a womans place was in the kitchen and raising kids. The westernization and its ideals also placed alot of black men in the same kind of thinking as the white mentality that property is property, and property is to be watched, used and sold for value. Along with these ideals and perceptions alot of black men lost their true sense of identity within all the brainwashing and started to become the very things that they detested. They detested the beatings, the belittling, the dehumanization, the ostracizing by their caucasion counterpart so it was that same hatred that they were given that they put upon the black woman. How sad it is to say that black women have stayed loyal and true but have gained nothing but heartache in the process of that loyalty. Im a black female and i spent a majority of my life in my upbringing having to learn the traditional values and roles that any woman are supposed to know and have instilled in her. I have also had to do of what was asked of me and be everything it seemed for each and every person that walked into my life, setting myself as an example of how a good woman is meant to behave. Alot of black men think sometimes that the world owes them something, that society owes them something from all that they have struggled and been through. Slavery was not just something endured by black men there were other ethnic cultures that suffered through the process of slavery including latin american cultures, Jews, East indians, Asians, etc. In my opinion, a man is a man regardless of their race, ethnicity, class, background, socioeconomic status, etc. it is a sad story for the black man and it makes for alot of the reasons why black men have a huge ball of energy for destruction, violence, and hatred. As black people in general we were treated like dogs, like animals and endured all kinds of mental and emotional torture. And i still believe that to this day we are suffering the same fate, only in a more modernized way. Successful black women who have worked considerably hard to achieve their goals still have to endure challenges, opporession, advercity, and dehumanization within the clasps of society in regards to many discriminating factors. We not only get dehumanized by our caucasion counterparts we get dehumanized as well by our black brothers. Black brothers who use to fight for us, are not fighting with us to end this dehumanization, instead they are fueling the dehuminization and aiming thier pain directly at black women against us. It is a mental and emotional conditioning which was embedded into our heads through the whipping of slavery that we endured for soo long a time. Here is my next view point, It doesnt make it any better that as black women we are also conditioned by this poison and we collectively and effortlessly demean each other as well in the most disrespectful of ways. We basically are doing the same things that black men are doing to us, hurting each other all for the fact that we have been beaten in our minds and shaped to feel as if we are inferior. In this modernized material world we live in we feel we must size ourselves up constantly to our next brother or sister. This is a pointless shame and we do it every damn chance we get dont we??? We stick our noses up, boast, bragg, gossip, and lie to each other like its natural. LET ME JUST SAY, nothing about demeaning ourselves is natural, it is the opposite, unnatural. But it has become second nature to us like some kind of new language. We learn how to make ourselves demean one another. What kind of car does he drive? What does he do for a living? Does he got any kids? Where does she buy her outfits from? Who does her hair? These are the common idiosyncrisies we lay upon each other every day, of every week, of every month, and every year. I so wish i had grew up in the era of Marcus garvey and other real true black freedom fighters and warriors who stood up and laid their lives on the line just so that we can try and get it right. It aches and saddens me that after all the hard work, blood, tears, and sacrifice of these prestigious black men and women how awful things turned out to be. Our ancestors whom we still thank everyday by tradition surely would not have wanted things to turn out in such a way.This simply means that we are giving ourselves the equal amount of hurt that our black brothers do and even more worse. This is where i get so ashamed if not anything. Why would we put ourselves in such a low state as to critisize the next sister based upon the very things we say black men are doing to us, and then go ahead and do it to each other. Is this not ignorance??? We are quick to throw blame and point fingers at the men but we need to seriously take some time to think about our own behaviors, attitudes, and character and try and search ourselves. Its like we are giving validation, the message to black men that we enjoy being hurt, disrespected, and treated like less of an individual, and therefore that leaves a question mark in his mind, well if she doesnt even treat the next sista as her own and show her encouragement, respect, good deeds and wishes, why should I? I see this every day in my community of oakland and it makes me wonder how the hell we could even sit back and point fingers at black men. We arent trying to help the situation ourselves by showing black men that we are worthy, deserve respect, kindness, decensy and above all loyalty. I see it like some kind of a disease. If its not on the bart, its on the bus, and if its not on the bus, it is in other public places where we are seen and can be seen like supermarkets, laundry stores, nailshops, where ever. This is how black men trap us, and could you blame them??? We are not showing black men the truth and we are not treating ourselves right and to them it shows them that hey, maybe we are right for treating you sistaz the ways we do. We are no good to each other as women. We see a sista with 4 kids and trying to hold things toghether for her children and actually do something decent to hold things toghether and what does the next sista see, her tax dollars going into this sistas pockets, they also see a sista who made some bad choices and instead of showing her support and encouragement and some good healthy words of encouragement we start acting like we cant be least bothered by that situation. She should have chosen the right man, she should have known better than to get pregnant twice. While we are hurdling and building our insults, not only are we reducing ourselves, we are telling black men we dont give a damn. We need to relearn, re-educate, and reprogram our selves from the westernized pollution which we have learned to govern our lives by. Its time we start learning how to give a damn about each other again. That sista is also my sista and would i be a sista if i sat there and ridiculed, demeaned, or made crass snark judgements at her for her decisions?? Hell no!!! Instead i would reach out my hand, be a friend, show i care, and try to give her the best advise i can like she was my own sista. That is what being a sista is really all about. In hard times when it feels like nothing is ever making any sense and things just dont seem to add up there should still be our sense of pride in not only being a woman but of having to go through many things along the way toghether. Sad that in this era not too many women are allowing this truth to manifest. and still choose to play the drum of ignorance right along with the black man. Alot of the times its pretty much competition, animosity, insecurity, or just flatout unkindness. As women we can have the best of anything as long as we are reminded that the place we come from is of one. If i know im on rough times and i need a friend or a helping hand, why shouldnt my sista be able to reach out and lend a helping hand, or thoughts of encouragement or a smile. That was the natural way it always had been, at least in harriet tubmans days. I should be able to be to show her that even though we might be on different wavelengths, that i still am a sista and i appreciate that it is my sista that im there for. But as women it is our problem, it is every black womans problem when we see someone whom is down trodden, homeless, or in some kind of situation that has forced her to have to go through and deal with unbearable circumstances. We need to be and think collectively and use our god sense to help heal the situations in the nation, we bring upon ourselves. The white man did not teach us how to kill each other, steal from each other, rape each other, he just put us through it all and stepped away and now smiles and watch us continue his evil deeds without his hand playing a part anymore. And so therefore we cannot sit back and say it is all the white mans fault anymore. That is just outright rubbish, we only have ourselves to blame with how we choose to deal with each other. On to my next viewpoint,…. The black music experience. We use to be able to sing a song and mean it and actually have it mean something meaningful and valuable to nourish our thoughts, bodies and spirits. But the black music experience has went from royal and beautiful to a nightmare full of so much hatred, animosity, and downright stupidity. I love my black music and we have had such a wonderful long line of talented and beautiful artists bless us and brace us with thier magic. So what the hell happened to black music??? Is seems like its more about sales than anything else now. Its like the artistry and the creative brilliance has all washed away. No disrespect but alot of the songs that we are hearing now are just repeats from long ago from artists that originally made the song. You hear songs from long ago from modern artists and wonder how great the song is because it has a few pop electro rythems and beats but the lyrics are from long ago. In my opinion that is just using the original artists work and placing it over a modernized beat. Alot of musicians try and trick people into thinking that they are brilliant masterminds and creative beyond no end, but really what they really are is thieves using someone elses brilliance and coming up with alittle twist and an electro modernized beat and voila you have what you call hit single or hit album. Now whats wrong with this picture? Its like we all of a sudden decide since the original artists are dead we are showing them the utmost respect by continuing to keep thier legacy and love alive. Yeah, ok….and stealing thier song and putting alittle fancy twist on it to make it huger than it already is. This is blacksploitation and whom better to allow for this type of foolishness than us black folks. We are so very exploitative and i dont see something like this ever going away any time soon, not unless we fight to change the programming that we have been fed by westernized thinking and ideologies, and until we can actually see it for ourselves that it is something that divides us, they will continue to keep on disrespecting us because they already have seen proof that we are not giving each other that support, love, and respect. That goes for The black man, the mexican man, the asian man, any man. If we do not start learning how to take control back in our communities by reprogramming our brainwashing and ignorance we will forever be the laughter, ridicule, and the ostrasized in society. The reason for this again stems from the conditioning of the westernized approaches and beliefs that were placed upon us by our caucasion counterparts. It is as if we were forced to swallow new ways of thought, new languges, new customs, that were not our own original customs but customs of the european. So we Value those customs and those ideals in the name of the westernized thought pattern trap. We think we need more, so we buy our way into society by getting the hottest cars, the flyest clothes, the nicest homes and condos and yet an still we are not satisfied so we continue to do all that we must in order to meet up to the standards of white westernization. Being so we forget who we are and where we came from… A place where we didnt need all those fancy things to have a good time. We as black women add on to this by collectively transforming ourselves to fit the norms of westernized society. We get blonde hair that is straight, we try and put ourselves in the hottest fashions and we allow ourselves to be driven into the westernized traps. Not to say that we do not deserve to be in nice things, but when we are using those nice things in order to have acceptance or to feel acceptance we are somehow missing the most special part of our race, just being black and being proud to be black. from our caucasion counterparts it just places a huge big question mark in my mind, Whom are we trying to idolize? Whom are we trying to become like?? DING DING DING…..The caucasion woman. We go to such extreme lengths that sometimes we get blinded by it and lose our sense of real community and all the things that we black women go through. This is the syndrome that pervades our community, our households, our families, the images of White America through media streams, televisions, movies, which in its own right puts so many stereotypes out their about black men and black women. This is the westernized trap and we dont even realize that we are losing ourselves more and more and further and further the more we engross ourselves in its grasp. We now currently have an african american president whom is doing what he can by ytrying to put toghether what is terribly defragmented in our society. It is a huge pain in the ass when i sit back and watch how his caucasion counterparts try and maneuver him into making decisions and try to control what needs to be done, but the sad fact is that he has to go through a line of others both democrats and republicans and not many of his democratic colleagues are sure of where he is taking things. As a very well learned and educated black men we need to allow him to do his job and try to be in support of whatever things may come our way or changes he might make in order to shape things up. He cannot do it all alone and he will need plenty of supporters and those who are going to be in his corner regardless of how slow things might be coming to progress. Great change takes time and most of the changes that shaped our lives from the civil rights movement, to the black panther party, to the NAACP, all of these organization took a great deal of time, patience, and effort. I am kinda surprised on how things are moving and how people are reacting to obamas decisions. Not only is he getting heat from the republicans, he is also getting heat from some of his democratic colleagues. What is wrong with this picture? There is not going to be any respective changes made that are not equally balanced from both democrats and republicans. It is going to take alot more cooperation, negotiation, and compromises, and hopefully with that healthy decisions can be made in order to push the society around. No one is perfect and it all should be more the reason that we as people take our time to keep learning, keep sharing, and keep growing. I hope to be able to continue in the struggle and continue to do what i can on my part as a black woman to spread, teach, and continue to learn and grow.

    1. Thank you so much for your response Lenshina, in general I agree with pretty much everything you have said. Black women have certainly internalized some of these harmful and dehumanizing viewpoints about themselves so that they excuse behavior against them and commit petty and stratifying behavior against one another. It all goes back to horizontal hostility. The lowest people in society are women of color……..they say the dad beats the mom, the mom beats the child, and the child beats the dog….who then does the dog beat? We, women of color, are the lowest on the totem pole, we have no one to take our hostility about oppression out on except for ourselves and each other. Yes we need to take responsibility for that but that is just medicine to the symptom not the oppression which is ongoing and cyclical. I have a question for you. What happens when a woman of color has held herself and her sisters to a high standard, treats herself with respect and dignity and treats both men and women alike in the same way and is STILL dehumanized, debased and objectified? Personally, my biggest struggle has been how to be a good HUMAN in a world where good humans are scarce. I treat myself with subjectivity, respect and integrity, yet I have yet to find a man who would do that for me, regardless of how good I was to them, I was considered less than a prostitute, a piece of property to which they were entitled. I changed my life and refused to be used but that doesnt keep them away from me, I just don’t entertain them. so how is a woman to cope when she takes full responsibility for her life, and is still met with a devastating weight of hostility? It is going to take much more than women changing how they deal, much more than that. What we need is collective behavior in people of color and other minorities in order to battle this social problem. Your right we need to re-socialize EVERYBODY but the immediate effects of patriarchy are more harmful then the problems that women have with each other (though they certainly contribute)

  5. You’re not a fan of capitalism? You seem to be enjoying it rather abundantly, especially the free speech aspect. Go live where there is no capitalism, then tell me what you think. No wonder your men beat you silly.

  6. Wow! This is very interesting because I am a black male who has the opposite problem of being mistreated by black women who were born in this country! In fact, I get along with all women from other races, exceptions every now and then, but for the most part they all treat me with respect and I treat them with respect! I do not condone the actions of these bros that yell at women on the streets, nor do that myself. Unfortunately blacks have been taught that we should be ghetto and act like this in public, including the ghetto sisters who harass me for not paying them any attention. Wearing underwear, short skirts, or tight pants and being sexual in public is not lady like, but black women do it all the time, and expect to use you for money because you are a nice guy! But then go to the thug guy to get that beat down. I love it when I cannot go to a public place, store, post office, library,or a building without having to endure the DRAMA of a mad, angry, Ghetto, CHICKITA girl! Hell as a black male I cannot go anywhere in Philadelphia or any of these other urban cities without being bothered by these angry, unintelligent witches that claim I’m the cause of their anger. I do not know you ugly and evil sisters and don’t want to because of your behavior! I love it when i walk by and a group of sisters start staring and laughing in their little groups like children, so mature and lady like don’t you think? I ‘m actually getting angry because to me this is unfair, why am I being treated like this by these evil black witches and I have done nothing to them? Why??? Can someone tell me. My professor says, it is because I am an intelligent brother with worthy goals in life, so the Devils are coming to pull me down. I have seen many bros in the community locked up by these same witches because of revenge? Why would you have your child’s father locked up when we all know they do not pay black men as much as you lovely sisters??? Why would you do that? Turn on your own men, someone you were attracted to earlier? And then turn on me because I remind you of that guy or I don’t fall into the stupid trap. It’s very funnny to me that the only women who do not give me a hard time because i am a black males are the foreign women. They love me and I love them. They are not rude, hostile, whores, evil, revenge seeking parasites like the many black women I have seen in the US. And you black women wonder why the black males you mention treat you that way? Are you all treating them like you treat me?? Seriously, I try, in fact I go out of my way to avoid all black women now because of this abuse, my brothers and cousin date white women, and I like Asian girls. Oh yes, many of you black women are good, but I have witnessed too many evil ones, like the black female judge who threw me in jail for contempt of court when this white lady’s witness tried to attack me in court. Our loving black female judge turned it around on me and threw me in jail, and would not let the officer defend me, interestingly i had never been in jail, but that evil, black male hating witch threw me in jail with those thugs for 2 days.Oh yea, I have seen you sisters use your power against black men, oh how about that time when I interviewed for Delta and that black witch hired those incompetent whites instead of me?? Nice huh? And when I was in Atlanta working at Houstons, how you black women would come into the restaurant and disrespect me and the other black waiters there, even the sisters on staff, yelling and screaming at us like we were slaves!! And for no reason! Just to show your black asses in public and be grand with your broke asses! If you can’t afford to eat out and tip accordingly, stay your fat asses at home! Hell the Cheesecake Factory, Mortons, Chops, Olive Garden, and other restaurants hate seeing black women come in because they know it will be DRAMMMMMA!!!! As far as I’m concerned black women are the Devil in the flesh! unless you all prove me wrong one day? I’m definitely waiting to get many apologies for all the insults, pain, and unnecessary troubles. I forgot, what am I thinking black women are never wrong, never!! Yea RIGHT!!!!!!!

    1. Thank you for reading this blog entry! its good to hear the opinion of a black male, after all, they are the ones who stand accused in this entry! ….Where to begin is what I’m wondering…..Lets see, women from across all races, ethnicitys and classes wear short skirts, tight pants and “underwear” in public, ladylike is a male centered term used to control the behavior of women, in actuality, I live in a college town, any woman in her twenties is wearing that EXACT outfit. This is not unique to black girls and just because you don’t like it doesnt mean you get to declare it inappropriate…..therein lies my first problem with your ENTIRE post. I’ve never been to Philly so I cannot assume you are wrong when you describe the behavior of the black women you encounter. But lets be real for a second? These things that you describe….”evil black women” “parasites” ….unfortunately it doesnt match up with the national image of the black woman. Perhaps you should come back and complain when black women are not the major and often times sole provider for their children? Perhaps you should come back when young black girls aren’t being raped by grown groups of black men in their neighborhoods?

      Also the black woman makes 70 cents on the dollar to the white man FACT, black MEN make 80 to 90 cents on the dollar to the white man….Black men STILL make more money than black women and often times have less responsibility because society allows them to abandon their responsibilities (like their children). I have no doubt that you have encountered some rather wretched women, but your struggle w/ us, black women? That is entirely individualistic….it’s rare, is what I’m saying. And honestly? …..It’s not that big of a deal….you’ve mentioned pretty much money issues and rejection issues……my post is about rape, street sexual harassment, menacing, physical violence against women! It isnt a fear of getting your ego broken or being turned down or asked to pay for dinner, it goes to the core of human dignity, that being the right to self determination and autonomy. Date every other woman besides a black one, I dont feel black women will be at a loss without you. This plea is a physical one. It is a plea to stop raping us, stop beating us, stop pimping us, to stop doing things that sabotage our effectiveness as mothers, sisters, lovers, workers, fighters and citizens in a global community.

      I laughed at a few parts in your post because it seems most of your complaints are because of your own lack of self control and inadequacy …being rejected for a job interview, being held in contempt of court…..having a hard time at work as a server (which i have personal experience with and it was usually the old white ladies that I hated most but ANY waiter will tell you that ALL people treat waiters as less than human, it is about superiority)…your bitter about YOUR LIFE….my concern is about the state of the black female, and how that effects the black community. I think it is unwise to focus on a few women you have met in Philly and project that image of the black female onto everyone you encounter from there on out…..by that logic, I could declare every black man I meet a rapist. And lets be real black men come after black women for their money just as much as black women go after black men for their money. Black men ask me for money, they ask to move into my apartment with me, but I dont call all black men gold diggers. The pool of eligible black men for an educated, middle class, black woman is all but non existant but you dont hear me calling all black men drug dealers and addicts and blaming all black men for the # of black men in prison or blaming black men for dating white women as a symbol of status when they get out of poverty. Why not? Because it is small minded to focus on any one individual that has caused you pain, it is small minded to let an event or events bring you to a conclusion about an entire race of women.

      The pain (being raped) and humiliation (daily) I personally have experienced at the hands of MANY black men has not turned me away from them. I dont date exclusively any race but I still have a strong love for black men. Why? Because I know that the…25-30 or so men that I’ve met (not screwed or dated, just met) that were interested in me, and tried to dehumanize me, devalue me and in some occasions sexually assault me are not representative of the U.S. population of black men. All over the united states things like this stuff i mentioned in my post happens, that is why i addressed it….I addressed it on a cultural level based off of national experiences of black women….I didnt write it because I got burned by one black man, or because I hate black men. What you’ve decided to do is to hate all women of one race for the perceived crime of a few, my post is about a CULTURE that encourages the mistreatment of black women, it just so happens that culture is made up of those that oppress us (black men) and those being oppressed (black women). A few women lashing out at black men, cry me a river……black women are supposed to be the “backbone” of the black community but we are actually the ones taking care of your children when you go to jail, holding the community together despite being physically and psychologically attacked by the culture at large and our own men. Rude …Hostile….Whores….you sound like a Klan member.

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