Friends With Benefits Is A Relationship Status, It Is Not The Same As Single

Recently I’ve been annoyed as hell talking to men that say they are single. When really they are NOT single, they are fucking every girl they can get their hands on, and usually have a few main girls they go to for their weekly nut. So this blog addresses the question : Is single a subjective term used according to what each person believes single to be? I. of course, am going to answer this question ….No.With 2 points. Single in its definition means not in a relationship, solo, not married, celibate, and actively apart from others romantically. Secondly (point 2)friends with benefits is  a RELATIONSHIP status.

There I said it. The term single, when applied to a person is usually a descriptor, an adjective, but its ALSO a verb! Its what you DO that makes you single. Webster says single is 3 things and when applied to people I think its fair to apply all three of these things.1. Not married (self explanatory) 2. of or relating to celibacy (you not fucking anyone because YOU are the only one your intimate with…hence the term single) 3. consisting of only one part ( welp when applied to the relationship and romantic realm again, one part is self explanatory).Single as a verb means : to select or distinguish from a number or group —usually used with out. A person is actively apart from intimacy with others. This is all choice based, and the decisions you make are what define your status. Again, single is what you do, if you are involved physically with someone then you are not solo, you are not celibate, you are not a party of 1, you are not SINGLE. When the adjective and the verb are put together fully defined then you cant possibly think a person who is sleeping with whomever they wish whether as friends with benefits or a string of one night stands is objectively single.

Single cannot be a subjective, just like every other relationship status is not subjective. Single means that you are unattached, unmarried, celibate and alone, solo, actively apart from coupling by choice. This blog’s goal is not to bash people who screw whom ever they want to, this blog is to ask people who are NOT single to stop using the gotdamn term. When I meet a man and ask him if he is single and he is fucking 2 different people a week, I don’t expect him to say YES. I am single. I expect him to say, I’m not romantically involved with anyone but I am sexually active. That gives me an accurate description of his status. Saying your single, leaves me weary as hell because way too many people use the term inaccurately, and some use it on purpose to mislead. I mean besides a blatant disregard for the humanity of the womenmen that you are casually fucking to “calm your nerves” how can I know what is going on and if I want to be apart if yur using a misleading and inaccurate term to describe ur status ….but I digress, again I am not trying to bash people who have healthy, sex based, and casual relationships (yu kan tell I dont approve but I’m nobodies mama and what works for me cannot be applied to every one else in the world) but I’d like to be able to have an objective measurement of your relationship status! Married is obvious ….you are romantically attached to someone via legal contract & spiritual contract. Unless yur marriage is “open” you are not available to anyone but the person yu are bound to. “In a relationship” is obvious – your romantically involved with someone that your probably fucking as well, you are not available to anyone but the person yu are with unless expressly stated otherwise, and yu have more wiggle room to call it quits than yu do in a marriage. Friends with benefits is a relationship status, you are friends who have sex. cut and dried, plain and simple.

Thats basically what I’m getting at, If you have a friend that you fuck every week you aren’t single, that’s information a potential partner should be privy to, rather than you saying you are “single”…..Say something else, or how about this, come right out and say, I’m in a friends w/ benefits, sex based relationship…..Friends with benefits relationships are not always easily broken, when your having sex with someone regularly and you claim to be friends then it is not going to be easy to tell them your going to go date someone now. Apart of your friendship is sex, sex that whoever you decide to date will expect to be exclusively for them, sex that you have to take from your friend and give to your sig. other (when you get ready to get into a romantic relationship)…if you’ve been giving it to someone else the whole time, then you aren’t truly single, yu are in a casual, sexual relationship with a friend. Idk if you are getting my point but I think it sucks that those of us who are truly single and looking for similarly single people are being mislead by those we are actively involved with someone else. I’ve met guys who spent the night at the same woman’s house for a year, that told me they were single…….no sir. Your not fucking single. To me, single is an achievement, the actual definition is an achievement, I hate how cheap and dingy it is when people use it who aren’t really single. No one should have to ask me if I’m single and then follow up with are you fucking someone or similar questions because when you ask a married person if they are married, you can objectively conclude that they are with that person or at least are supposed to be. You can’t change the definition of single at will, whenever it suits yu. Some married persons claim to be single, some people in relationships will tell you they are single (usually in order to score some sex, in both cases) but they are using the term to be misleading. I say people who are casually screwing are doing the same thing.

*disclaimer* I know this is a little biased because I personally do not condone casual sex (because of its many repercussions and consequences like unwanted pregnancies, emotional irresponsibility , and std  transfer) but it does make logical sense, so please don’t disregard it just because of my personal disapproval lol

 

OH shit UPDATE, I realize I did not even mention the disparity between men and women when ti comes to this issue! urg slacking feminist! lol Anyways, I find it very important to point out that a woman who has a friends with benefits relationship is considered LESS single than a man who has a friends with benefits relationship. Men have more sexual freedom so really the term single (when used inaccurately) benefits men more than women, especially if they have more than one sexual partner. Women who have sex outside of marriage or relationships are considered whores, this is not the case of men…they are just considered “single” or “bachelors” ha fucking paternity and our androcentric culture of entitlement that stomps on female sexuality and female sexual freedom

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2 thoughts on “Friends With Benefits Is A Relationship Status, It Is Not The Same As Single

  1. Hmm…maybe it’s because I’m a *single* parent, but I completely dissagree with you. There is no reason to conflate single with celibate, and I’ve never met anyone else who did so. I spent three years single and celibate–and it was miserable!

    Yes I would rather be in a committed relationship–as a mom I have to be very carefull of who I commit to. But I’m sorry, I’m not waiting to have sex till I find that mythical person. So in the mean time I’m going to have one night stands and friends with benefits. But believe me, if I do find someone I’m interested in seriously, that outside shit stops!

    But if I’m fucking someone, and they ain’t paying my bills or helping with my kids–unless I think they eventually will–I’m fucking single, as in, going it alone!

    I do hear what you say though, some people stretch single way too far. Maybe instead of asking if someones single, you should ask if they’re seeing or talking to anyone? Idk–I definitely would wipe the single=celibate equation out of your mind–you’ll only continue to be dissapointed!

    1. I dont think there is any reason to equate singleness w/ sexual relationships that are consistent , in fact for me that is a HELL NO. I dont live my life expecting everyone who calls themselves single to not be sleeping w/ anyone but i ALWAYS prob deeper and inquire about whether or not they are carrying on a sexual relationship. For me? Single means SINGLE, as in goiing it alone. Friends w/ benefits relationships are not singleness, it is a consistent relationship based on sex, no matter WHAT the relationship is based on it is still romantic in it’s origin, that is NOT singleness. I choose celibacy but sex outside of friends w/ benefits ….like a one night stand I still consider to be single….but friends with benefits is NOT single, you have to end that relationship to start one therefore u are not single. My equation is single = celibate but all I’m ASKING is that people who are engaged in actual relationships to stop referring to themselves as single, again, even if the relationship is sex based it is A relationship

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