I was talking to someone today that I have known for a very very long time, more than a decade. She is married with 2 children a boy who is 3 and a girl who is 5 yrs old. She had been wanting children since she was 16, a junior in highschool and she had 2 miscarriages before she had her first child. Her theory was that she needed someone to love her, and who better to love you than someone who NEEDS you. So she had children. We’ll I was talking to her today and she was telling me she would have to be a “stay at home mom” for a while and that her kids were going to drive her crazy and she wishes she could put them in daycare. Ahhhhh now she wants someone to watch the kids she wanted so badly because they aren’t babies anymore…….maybe they need her more than she wants to be needed? Babies aren’t anything to be taken lightly, they aren’t like puppies or plants, you can’t give them to a neighbor if they get on your nerves, once you decide to have a child you have them until they are at LEAST 18. Yes as a feminist I believe the burden for raising a child is disproportionate between men and women BUT any woman thinking of having kids should know this and be sure of the partner she is having the kids with. Or be sure she kan do it alone. The way society is run is a good thing to factor in when trying to decide to have children, it will tell you all your responsibilities as a mother, real or perceived. Why wouldn’t you think about that beforehand is my question.
Too many women like the IDEA of having babies, but they do not have the know how, or patience, or the consistency to raise a human. They say you are “nobody till somebody loves you” but thats just not true. If you love yu and yu LET it be enough, and use that self love to become a well rounded individual….and THEN become a mother. Another thing she wanted to do was go abroad with a college and leave her kids behind or take them with her to a whole nother country…..Really? Thats not a wise thing to do. You may want to travel and see the world but you should have thought about that before you rushed into motherhood. She had 2 miscarriages before she had her children…she was more than “trying” to have children, she was desperate for them. And now she wants to travel the world, study abroad and thinks she can leave her kids with her husband or have them tailing along behind her to Puerto Rico……..I’m sorry but your dreams have to be put on hold for your children, the children you wanted. Those ones who have picked up bad behavior in daycare and are displaying at home, that behavior you didnt notice until you had to spend all day with them….Those ones you can’t stand now